


The Longer I Run

by AComfortInTheRain



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Art, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Love, M/M, Photography, Post-One Direction, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-07-28 02:10:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20056330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AComfortInTheRain/pseuds/AComfortInTheRain
Summary: Maeve McApline has spent years running from her former identity. She has surrounded herself with people that know nothing of her past - save for her flatmate, who has dealt with the night terrors she's had for years - and that's the way she likes it. She spends her days waitressing in the cafe beneath their flat, and her weekends photographing weddings with her best friend and flatmate. So far, nothing has happened to break up the quiet life she has made for herself. What happens when she catches the eye of a certain pop star that frequents their cafe and threatens to shatter the world of anonymity she has created?





	1. Chapter 1

I pushed open the heavy door leading into the café, only to immediately be assaulted by the smell of coffee and chocolate. Clutching my nearly-empty coffee cup against my chest, I made my way toward the back staircase.

“Maeve,” I heard from behind the counter. “I know you didn’t just walk in here with a Starbucks cup.” I cringed and slowly turned to face Aimee.

“I love you?” I tried, laughing. She frowned at me and shook her head before laughing herself.

“You can make it up to me by covering Kelsey’s shift on Friday night.”

“I can do that,” I responded as I made my way up the stairs to my flat. Turning my key, I pushed open the door and flipped on the light. Reid was lying face down on his bed, completely passed out. I sighed and went over to him.

“Reid.” Incoherent mumbling. “Reid, we need to leave now.”

“…Time is it?” I made out.

“It’s 10:30. We need to be at the church at 11.” Reid groaned and rolled off the bed, before trudging into the bathroom.

“I’ll be ready in ten.” I nodded, before grabbing the equipment I would need for the wedding and making my way back downstairs.

“Maeve, be a dear, and take this out to the gentleman on the patio.” Walking to the front of the store, I smiled thanks to the man that held the door open for me and walked over to the young guy sitting at the café table.

“Chai tea?” I said, before setting the cup down in front of him. He looked up from his phone and smiled.

“Thank you.”

“No problem,” I chirped before making my way over the car. I started to load my equipment into the car before I heard Reid next to me.

“Make a friend?” he whispered.

“What do you mean?”

“That guy keeps looking over at you.” I discreetly looked behind me and noticed him staring intently at his phone.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” I responded before starting to walk to the driver’s side. Reid beat me to it and said,

“Nope. I’m driving. You’re navigating.” I rolled my eyes before walking around to the other side. “Where to?” he asked, once we were both settled.

“63 and Westen. Presbyterian church on the corner.” He nodded and pulled away from the curb.

Leaning forward to turn on the radio, I said, “Okay, so we have Michael and Lara Rhoden…” Rock music started blaring from the speakers. “Holy shit, Reid.”

“Let me be, woman.”

“Don’t blame me when you’re 35 and have lost most of your hearing.” I rolled my eyes and turned down the music. “Anyway, so Michael and Lara. She didn’t really give any specific shot list, so I guess we’ll just go with our normal procedure. I’ll meet up with the bride and her bridesmaids in the bridal suite where they’re getting ready. She said the guys will be meeting in the prayer room upstairs.”

“Sounds good. Do you want me to scout out the sanctuary while I wait?” I nodded. “What kind of vibe did you get off of her?”

“She seemed pretty laid back from what I could tell, but you never know until the day of. You know that as well as I do.”

“True.” We rode in silence for a little while. Pulling the sunglasses over my eyes, I leaned my head back and tried to calm the nerves I still got before a wedding. You would think after three years of almost full-time photography I would be used to it.

“We’re here,” Reid announced as he pulled into the carpark. I grabbed my bags from the backseat and made my way to the Fellowship Hall.

Walking in, I was immediately hit by the smell of hairspray and cheap perfume. I found an unoccupied corner of the room and began to unpack my bags. Screwing the lens onto my camera, I looked around and made mental notes of the detail shots I could get. There was a cool looking, stained glass window that I hang the dress in front of. The bouquets had been delivered and were sitting in vases beside the bridesmaid dresses. I began to snap pictures as I walked towards the girl I recognized as the bride. She was sitting at the table with her eyes closed, getting her makeup done. When she opened her eyes for mascara, I smiled and waved.

“Maeve!” Lara screeched. I forced myself to only flinch internally before shooting her a smile.

“Hi, Lara! You alright?”

“I’m great! Totally great. Yeah, really great,” she babbled. Her makeup artist huffed quietly and turned to grab a different brush. Great. Nervous brides were always the most likely to turn into an issue.

“I’m just going to start taking some detail shots if that’s alright,” I said. Lara nodded and closed her eyes again. I made eye contact with a girl that I assumed was one of her bridesmaids and stifled a laugh as I watched her pretend to shoot herself in the head. Turning around, I began to take pictures of the flowers and bridesmaid dresses, moving things around as I needed them. I found Lara’s shoes and jewelry and began to place them in different spots around the room.

I began to feel the back on my neck prickle like someone was watching me. I stood up straight again and scanned the room, pretending to look for a new shot. The girl I had made eye contact with earlier. She smirked and walked in my direction. “Mimosa?” she said when she got close enough. I saw her pull a flask from the pocket inside of her robe. I shook my head.

“I don’t drink while I’m working, but thanks.”

“Fair enough,” she said as she tipped the flask back. I had immediately noticed her accent when she spoke.

“What part of New York are you from?” I asked. She choked on her drink, coughed once, and then laughed.

“Rochester. Did you figure from my accent or the amount that I’m drinking?”

“A little of both,” I responded, laughing. What she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

“You ever been?” I nodded.

“A few times.”

“City of lights…and small apartments,” she muttered. I laughed before snapping a picture of Lara hugging one of her bridesmaids. “That’s Clara, by the way. Maid of honor.”

“Thanks,” I said, filing that away for later. You always find the maid of honor to ask for things before you went to the bride. Snapping a picture of Lara dancing with her maid of honor and her makeup artist, I considered her. “You are?”

“Chloe. I’m the groom’s sister.”

“You don’t seem very happy about that.” Chloe laughed.

“I don’t mind. I just think the constitution of marriage is stupid and outdated. But I love my brother.” She went quiet for a moment. “How did you get into the wedding business?”

“My roommate has been a photographer for several years. When I moved in, he noticed that I had a camera with me and decided to make me his second shooter. We’ve been together for almost three years now.”

“That’s really cool. I’m going to school for cinematography, so if you’re ever in Rochester and need a videographer – let me know,” she said while handing me a business card.

“I will,” I said, taking her card. Not that I ever planned on being back there, but it never hurts to have a contact.

“I guess I should start getting dressed or something,” she said. I nodded, watching her walk back to the party. I snapped a few more pictures of the bride getting into her dress, and the bridesmaids getting into theirs. Pulling out my phone, I fired off a text to Reid.

_Me: ‘How’s it going?’_

_Reid: ‘Fine. I was able to capture the whole sanctuary. The guys are just now showing up. _

_Me: ‘Oh boy. How are they?’_

_Reid: ‘Drunk as hell.’_

_Me: ‘Excellent.’_

I rolled my eyes. It seems like every other wedding we do the groomsmen are drunk before the ceremony even gets rolling. Hopefully, the groom is sober enough to actually consent to get married. But I’ve only ever seen one pastor refuse to do a ceremony because of intoxication.

“Maeve,” I heard from the other side of the room. Turning, I see that the Mother of the Bride had joined us. Forcing myself to smile, I put myself back into a professional headspace.

“I’m ready for this wedding to be over,” I muttered to Reid as we met back up to talk strategy before the ceremony started.

“Yeah, me too,” he said. “Do you think the bride would freak if I told her that it looks like she’s been crying for a week straight?”

“Don’t you dare,” I laughed quietly. “Let’s do this thing.”

The ceremony was pretty standard as far as weddings go. There were a few moments where the bride was crying too hard to speak when she needed to. It’s always sad when people get to the altar and then realize that their life will be changed by getting married. The groom seemed like he was mostly sober, although the groomsmen were definitely swaying a little too much to be subtle. I was pretty sure the pastor rolled his eyes when he looked over at them during his sermon. But soon enough, it was over, we had finished the family portraits that were being taken inside the church, and it was time to head to our outdoor pictures.

“How did we do?” I asked Reid as we were walking to the jeep.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I did just fine.” I smacked his shoulder before stealing the keys.

“Just for that, I’m driving.”

“Can I hitch a ride?” I heard from behind me. Chloe was walking toward the jeep like she was on a mission. I shook my head and said,

“I don’t think the bride would appreciate that much. Go spend some time with your brother.” She rolled her eyes, laughing before she changed directions and walked toward the limo.

“Why are so many people following you, today?”

“What?” I asked, startled. I pulled out and began to follow the limo to the park we were taking pictures.

“You know, the guy from this morning, and now one of the bridesmaids? Just kind of weird when you think about it.”

“The guy from this morning probably just wanted to look at my arse, and Chloe just wanted someone to commiserate with her. She hates the constitution of marriage.”

“Of course she does,” he muttered. “Just watch your back, Mae. Can’t afford to get lazy with that.”

“I’ll be fine,” I snapped. Pausing, I said, “Sorry. I know you’re just looking out for me. But I’ll be okay.” He shrugged and looked out the window.

“If you say so.”

The outdoor pictures went off without a hitch, and Reid and I had mostly made up by the time the reception started. Reid went to find the bridal party and chat with the vendors about their timeline – just to make sure it matched up with what we had been given. I walked into the dining room and began to take pictures of the centerpieces and the cake. Or, rather, donut wall.

“Fucking Pinterest,” I muttered to myself. Apparently, one of the waitresses was walking passed me at that point and laughed aloud to herself.

“Don’t I know it,” she said as she walked away. Pretty soon thereafter, the guests were allowed into the dining room and I went to find Reid.

“I’ll grab the entrance if you want to get various audience shots,” he said. “We’re currently trying to track down the groom and his sister.” I snorted.

“At least it’s his sister.” Reid looked at me deadpan and said,

“I’ve had enough of those kinds of weddings to last a lifetime. Go find some good audience shots.” I laughed and walked back into the room.

It’s kind of interesting to see the people that will immediately try and get your attention as soon as they see you have a camera. I find that people are either incredibly happy to get their picture taken, or they hide as much as possible. There’s very little in between. I encouraged a few tables to get together for a group picture before I heard the DJ start to announce the bridal party. I guess they had found the groom, then. I snapped a few pictures from my vantage point before continuing my trek around the tables.

Not for the first time, I let my mind wander to what my own wedding would look like. Not that I ever planned on getting married – it would just complicate things too much – but I doubt that it would look like this. There had to be at least 500 people here, and the room was decked out in so many flowers you would think it was a hospital room. The centerpieces towered in the center of the table, and it was impossible to interact with anyone on the other side. It pretty much looked like a Pinterest board had thrown up, and you were left with different ideas and themes that made no sense together. There was no cohesion at all.

“Maeve,” Reid broke into my thoughts. “We’re over here.” He led me to our vendor table, where we sat with the DJ and the videographer. Vendor meals always suck, but at least we were getting fed at this one. Reid refused to go back to the planetarium because of that. He looked at me and smirked, knowing where my mind was.

We played rock-paper-scissors to determine who would capture the speeches – much to the amusement of our tablemates. Reid lost. I listened to the speeches from our table, cringing when the best man got up to speak and immediately ran into the bathroom. Apparently, he was having “digestion issues.” Aka, he drank entirely too much on an empty stomach. The next groomsmen attempted to cover him by giving saying a few words and then toasting. Honestly, it was probably better than whatever the other guy was going to say.

I got up when it was time for the cake cutting and first dance. At least the couple looked happy. What a lot of people don’t realize about getting married, is that if you don’t do a first look, you hardly see your new spouse. The first dance is usually the first chance that they’ve had to talk all day. Sometimes they look on top of the word, and sometimes they look like they’ve made the biggest mistake of their lives. It just depends.

Finally, it was time for us to leave and let the guests catch up with the bridal party. I caught Chloe’s eye and waved goodbye. She was wrapped up in the arms of one of the groomsmen and looked very satisfied with herself. Reid and I loaded our equipment into the jeep and made our way back to the flat above the café.

Falling onto the couch, I began to scroll through my newsfeed. When Reid came into the room, he offered me one of the glasses of wine he had poured and said, “Pretty successful overall, I think.” I nodded, not really in the mood for more conversation. He tweaked my foot and sat down. Flipping on the tv, he turned the channel to some awards show and I settled in to watch with him. With any luck, I wouldn’t need to face the real world for the next twelve hours.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maeve McApline has spent years running from her former identity. She has surrounded herself with people that know nothing of her past - save for her flatmate, who has dealt with the night terrors she's had for years - and that's the way she likes it. She spends her days waitressing in the cafe beneath their flat, and her weekends photographing weddings with her best friend and flatmate. So far, nothing has happened to break up the quiet life she has made for herself. What happens when she catches the eye of a certain pop star that frequents their cafe and threatens to shatter the world of anonymity she has created?

“Maeve,” I heard someone say. I startle awake to find Reid standing above me. “You were working at 11:00 today, right?” 

“Yeah,” I mumbled, running my hand over my face. I tap on my phone screen to see what time it is: 9:50 AM. “Thank you.” Reid holds out a hand to help me off the couch. I must have fallen asleep there last night. 

“Tea?” he asks as he walks into the kitchen. 

“Yes, please,” I respond quietly. Walking into the bathroom, I realized that I never took my makeup off the night before. My skin felt gross and oily, and I knew that I would develop a few spots because of my carelessness. “Dammit.” Jumping in the shower, I wash my hair quickly to give it as much time to dry as possible. With hair as thick as mine, I could wash it in the morning and it still wouldn’t be dry by bedtime. Luckily it was still relatively healthy regardless of the amount of heat damage I’m sure it’s developed over the years. 

I’m in and out of the shower within ten minutes. One thing I’ve learned about myself recently is that shower thoughts are dangerous. I’ve developed a habit of circle-thinking, and being in an enclosed space with no outside stimulation or distraction can lead to a lot of issues. I try to keep my mind focused on what I’m going to eat for breakfast or trying to compile a list of stupid things I think that customers will say or do that day. They’re never quite as bad as the people in Greenwich. Cursing, I shake my head. I can’t allow myself to think about that. 

“My name is Maeve McApline. I was born and raised in St. Ives by my aunt, god-rest-her,” I muttered to myself. If you repeat something enough times it makes it true, right? 

“Maeve,” I heard Reid call out. 

“Just a moment,” I respond. I get out of the shower and wrap myself, and my hair, in towels. I’ve been told off for dripping on the hardwood more times than I can count. Reid raises his eyebrows when I hold out my hand for the cup he holds. I rolled my eyes, “Reid, it’s not like this is the first time you’ve seen me in only towels. Just give it here.” 

Huffing, he hands over the cup. “It would just be nice to have some warning.” 

“What? Don’t like what you see?” I tease, sticking out my leg. Reid laughs and puts his hands up. 

“I give up. Just go get ready.” 

“Good morning, Aimee,” I say in passing as I go to grab my apron. 

“Good morning, doll,” she responds. “How was the wedding?” 

“Oh, you know.” She laughs. 

“That good, huh?” I shrug before pulling the apron over my head. 

“Has it been busy this morning?” Aimee shakes her head and says, 

“No, not really. I’m expecting more of a rush around 11:30.” Nodding, I grab a rag off the counter and begin to wipe down tables. As I turned around to wipe off the table next to the window, I noticed a guy sitting outside on the patio. If I wasn’t mistaken – and I rarely am about these things – I was almost certain that it was the same guy as yesterday. I felt a chill go down my spine before I could stop it. I’m sure it’s fine. He’s probably just a regular. But… Just to be sure, I went over to Kelsey – the other waitress – and asked about him. 

“Oh yeah,” she said, looking discreetly out the window. “I’ve seen him in here a lot recently. He must have just moved into the area.” 

“Yeah,” I said absently. “That would make sense.” 

“He’s cute though,” she smiled, nudging my shoulder. I laughed and said, 

“I’m not going to ask out a customer Kels.” She shrugs, laughing and she turns and walks away. 

“There’s a first time for everything,” she said over her shoulder. I roll my eyes and pick up the neglected teacup and saucer sitting on the table in front of me. Suddenly, I feel a pair of small arms wrap around my hips. I smile and turn to the little girl that’s attached herself to me. 

“Hello Miss Sara,” I said. I receive a toothy grin in return. 

“Up, up!” Sara insists. 

“Let me go put this cup down and I’ll pick you up, okay?” Sara contemplates for a second, before nodding and following me back over to the counter. I stick the dishes on the window for Marc to clean when he gets to it. Turning around, I pick up Aimee’s daughter and begin walking around the café. I point out various objects like “table,” “chair,” “flower.” 

I had never really considered being a mom until I met Aimee and her family. It never seemed like something that I could do – even if everything fell into place like I had hoped it would. But carrying Sara around and watching Aimee and Marc swoon over her constantly: it made me want this life. I just needed to find someone who understood my situation before I could even consider settling down. And the unfortunate thing is that I’m not sure if settling down is even an option for me. 

Sara and I continued to walk around and play until we began to get more customers in the shop. I handed her off to her mother and went up to begin making lattes and filling pastry orders. When I finally had a moment to breathe, I looked out the window to see if that guy was still sitting there, but I guess he had left sometime during the rush. I felt a weird tug in my stomach, but I ignored it and flashed a smile at the customer that came up to the till. 

“What can I get you today?” I ask him. I was met with piercing blue eyes and a wide smile. 

“I’ve heard you have the best lattes in town. I’ll just get one of those.” Irish. Interesting. 

"Well, that's a pretty high compliment!" I respond, laughing. "I'll try not to disappoint you. Would you like a scone or a macaron with that?" 

“A scone would be fantastic, actually.” 

“Cranberry orange or mixed berry?” 

“Cranberry orange, thanks,” he said after contemplating for a moment. 

“For here or to go?” 

“To go, please.” 

“No problem, it'll be up in a few," I smiled and turned to begin making his coffee. The café had quieted down significantly from our midmorning rush. A girl was sitting in the back of the room with headphones on, typing furiously. A couple sat in the window, quietly, occasionally giggling at something the other showed them on their phone. I embraced the quiet moments. It never seemed like I could get enough of them anymore. Humming quietly to myself, I filled his cup and began making a leaf with the steamed milk. 

A phone broke the silence, and the guy I was waiting on quietly shoved his hand in his pocket and answered quietly, “Hello?” I didn’t really mean to eavesdrop, but he hadn’t stepped far enough away from the counter. Whoever was on the other line sounded male and frantic. “I’ll be back in like 15 minutes, don’t worry. Do you want anything?” He didn’t sound terribly concerned by what was going on on the other end. “No, we’ll probably finish the guitar parts this afternoon. Well, I don’t care what he thinks, I’m the principal guitar player anyway.” Pause. “Well, then maybe he should find somewhere else to put that attitude. I know way too many good players to put up with his shit all the time.” Pause. “You don’t have to tell him. I’ll tell him when I get back.” 

I snorted quietly when I heard that. Now that's a guy that knows how to deal with people's problems. It's like Reid always says: sometimes you've got to cut people out that are causing more problems than they’re worth. I grabbed his scone from the display case and began to put it in the bag when I realized I hadn’t asked him if he wanted it warmed or not. I looked up and made eye contact with him. He rolled his eyes comically and smiled. I held up his bag and pointed at the toaster behind me. He nodded his head before inclining it in thanks, still trying to calm down the voice on the other end of the line. 

“Michael, it’s going to be fine. We’ll still get the album out on time. I’m not worried at all.” The only tell of his patience beginning to dissolve was his pacing. He made his way down the counter, looking through the display case, and around to the mug wall. We had local potters create mugs for us to sell. We split the profit, and they got some exposure. It was a pretty cool deal Aimee had worked out. 

I wondered to myself whether he was the artist or the producer. He certainly seemed to have a lot of experience in the industry, whichever spectrum he was involved in. I went to take out his scone and swore quietly as I burned my finger on the toaster oven. I quickly bagged his scone, running my finger under cold water at the same time, and put a lid on his latte. I shut off the water, wrapped my hand in a towel for a second and looked to see where his pacing had led him. He had picked up a blue mug off of the wall. If I remembered correctly, it had a Shakespeare quote on it. Holding it, he walked back towards the counter. 

“Last chance, Mike. Do you want anything?” Pause. “Okay, I’ll see you in a bit.” Setting down the mug on the counter, he reached for his wallet. “Can I get this as well?” 

“Of course!” I rang him out quickly and wrapped the mug in paper for him. Handing over his food and his bag, I said, “Come see us again soon!” 

“I definitely will,” he smiled. “Have a good day.” 

“You as well!” I watched him walk out of the café and slip his sunglasses on. 

“He was cute too,” I heard Kelsey say from behind me. I laughed and shook my head. 

“Give it up, will you?” She snorted and grabbed my dirty dishes. 

“Not until I see you get a date. How long has it been, anyway?” 

I forced myself not to stiffen and responded, “Honestly, Kels. Couldn’t tell you.” Simple. Not entirely untrue. 

“My point,” she said. “You need to hang out with someone outside of your roommate. You two are so co-dependent I’m amazed you haven’t just gotten married already.” 

“Who hasn’t gotten married yet?” I heard from behind us. We both turned and saw Reid standing at the counter grinning. 

“Us,” I responded, sticking out my tongue. “Not that I’d ever stoop to that.” Reid grabbed his chest and made a pained sound. 

“Ah, Mae. You do wound me.” I laughed. 

“You should be used to that by now.” He dropped his arms and shook his head, smiling. I could feel Kelsey rolling her eyes behind me and gently shoved her away. “Was there something you needed?” I asked. 

“Do you have anything planned for tonight?” I thought for a second before shaking my head. “My older sister’s art exhibit is opening tonight. Care to be my date?” 

“Sure,” I said, “that sounds like fun.” 

“Great! We need to leave around 8 if that’s okay.” I nodded, looking up at the clock above the door. My shift was over in 10 minutes. Aimee and her husband closed almost every day together, and they would cover the last hour and a half that the café was open. Reid and I got to work bussing the rest of the tables while Kelsey wiped down the counter. When we were done, Kelsey and I took off our aprons and hung them up in the kitchen. I waved goodbye to Aimee who was rocking Sara to sleep in the back. She smiled and mouthed, “thank you.” 

Running up the stairs, I mentally put together an outfit that I could wear tonight. I didn’t want to stand out too much, but I also didn’t want to look like I didn’t care about her event. I decided on an all-black dress, silver stilettos, and some silver chandelier earrings. After my obligatory 10 minute shower, I blew my hair dry and began to curl it. My hair may only be shoulder-length, but I have so much hair on my head that it can take up to an hour to curl fully. Reid knocked on the door and asked if he could shower while I was finishing up. I opened the door and went into the hallway to give him some privacy. 

Reid and I didn’t really have many boundaries anymore. He was my best friend and I honestly didn’t know what I would do without him. I heard Kelsey’s voice in my head and shook my head slightly. There was nothing romantic between Reid and I. I don't understand why it's so difficult for people to understand that you can be incredibly close with someone of the opposite gender and not be involved with them. I wouldn't even say that Reid is like a brother to me, because that doesn't mean anything. I don't have the same kind of family experience that most people have. But again, there's no easy way for me to explain that to people. 

“You can come in,” Reid’s voice broke into my thoughts. I opened the door and walked up to the mirror. After staring at myself in the mirror for a minute, I continued curling my hair. Reid began humming quietly from the shower, and after figuring out what song was in his head, I began to quietly hum the harmony. 

“Show off,” I heard muttered from behind the curtain. I laughed and let it go. After I had finished curling my hair, I flipped it over and sprayed it down so it would hold for the evening. I had already applied primer and most of my foundation by the time Reid was out of the shower. He reached his hand out from behind the curtain and I grabbed the towel off of the rack and handed it to him. He wrapped himself in it and stepped out of the shower. Squeezing behind me, he placed his hand on my shoulder briefly and went into his bedroom. 

When I had finished my makeup and put on my dress, I walked out into the living room to find him leaning against the couch. “Can you zip me?” I asked. He looked up from his phone and came around to do so. “Thanks.” 

“No problem. You look beautiful.” I smiled at him and bent to put my shoes on. When I stood up again, he held out his arm and said, “Ready to go?” I nodded. 

-

“That was incredible,” I told Reid as we walked up the stairs to the flat. “Mariah is so good at what she does.” 

"I know," he responded, excitedly. "I'm so proud of how far she's come. I wish that she had had more people out tonight, but I guess it is running for another couple of weeks." I unlocked the door and dropped my keys on the plate on the table. Leaning down, I undid the straps on my shoes before collapsing onto the couch. Reid sat down next to me and tapped his leg a couple of times. I put my feet into his lap and he began to rub them for me. “What was your favorite piece?” 

“Probably the vase of lilies.” His sister specialized in incredibly-realistic paintings. “I think they may be my favorite flower.” 

“I didn’t know that,” he said. I shrugged. 

“I haven’t really given it much thought until now.” 

“That makes sense, I guess.” He was quiet for a moment. I could tell that he wanted to say something, but I let him take his time. “My mom keeps asking me why I haven’t asked you out on a date yet.” 

“Oh?” I said as I leaned back into the pillow. I knew I shouldn’t fall asleep on the couch for the second night in a row, but I was just so comfortable. 

“Yeah.” He was quiet again. I got the feeling that something was really bothering him, so I reached out and put my hand on his arm. "What's with you tonight?" I asked. "Seems like something is bothering you." 

Reid took a deep breath and said quietly, “I think I might be interested in someone.” 

“Oh? What’s the issue?” I was slightly concerned that he was going to go against everything that I knew about him and tell me that it was me, but I internally berated myself for being so conceited. 

“It’s hard for me to tell if they like me back.” I closed my eyes. 

“Reid, you’re an adult. Just ask her.” I felt him stiffen. Oh. “Just ask him,” I continued casually. I felt him relax a little bit. 

“I’ve never been attracted to a guy before, Mae. And it’s just him. Like. I’m still very much attracted to women.” 

“You’re allowed to be attracted to both, you know.” I squeezed his arm. “Literally anyone would be incredibly lucky to have you by their side. And even if it doesn’t work out with this one, you can still keep it as an option for the future.” 

“I just don’t know how to talk to him. I don’t even know if he’s gay. Or bi. Or whatever this is.” 

“Once again: you’re an adult. He’s an adult. If you’re friends with him and he gets freaked out by it, he’s not the kind of person that you want to have in your life anyway.” I cracked my left eye open to find him nodding to himself. 

“You’re probably right.” I laughed. 

“Of course I am. That’s why you told me, isn’t it?” He laughed a little, and I felt him relax more. Good. 

“It is.” We were both quiet for a moment before I realized something. 

“Is that who you’ve been texting secretly for the last three months?” I felt him start. 

“When did you notice that?” he asked. 

“I notice everything,” I responded, "You know that." 

“True. Yes, it is. We met through a friend of Mariah’s.” 

“Wait,” I sat up abruptly. “Was he there tonight?” Ruefully, he nodded. “Why didn’t you introduce me?” I shouted, smacking his arm. Reid started laughing and pushed me away. I fell off of the couch and laid on the ground pouting. 

“This is why,” he said. “You’re obnoxious.” 

“How dare,” I responded. “I’m going to bed.” Reid laughed and helped me off the ground. 

"Goodnight," he said, pulling me into a hug. We were quiet for a second before he said, "thank you." 

“Of course.” I walked into my bedroom, stripped, and got into bed. Turning off the light on my nightstand, I lay awake in the darkness for a long time, thinking about what had just happened. This was not the ending I expected for today.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maeve McApline has spent years running from her former identity. She has surrounded herself with people that know nothing of her past - save for her flatmate, who has dealt with the night terrors she's had for years - and that's the way she likes it. She spends her days waitressing in the cafe beneath their flat, and her weekends photographing weddings with her best friend and flatmate. So far, nothing has happened to break up the quiet life she has made for herself. What happens when she catches the eye of a certain pop star that frequents their cafe and threatens to shatter the world of anonymity she has created?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger Warning - PTSD*

I awoke with a start. Everything inside of me was screaming to get down under the bed. I rolled off the bed and crawled underneath, just as I heard the door slam open. Holding my breath, I watched as a pair of boots strode into the room. All-black Tims. The kind he always wore to work. The floor creaked around my bed as he walked over to the closet. I saw the door open, and immediately shut. The second pair of boots walked into the room. 

“Where is she?” I heard the second man ask. 

“I don’t know. Go around back,” I heard Simon say, and the second man walked out of the room immediately. I watched as Simon walked towards the bed and paused. I couldn’t breathe. I knew if he found me now, there was no getting away. There were footsteps all over the house. How many men did he bring with him? 

Suddenly, I felt him grab my feet and I screamed as he pulled me up against his chest. With a gun to my forehead, he pulled me out of the room. “I found her!” he roared into the house. 

“Maeve!” Reid shouted. I felt myself come to as my eyes adjusted to the light. I was drenched in sweat, my throat sore. It was a dream. Reid held my shoulders and watched me carefully. I didn’t blame him for not immediately embracing me anymore. Apparently, I had managed to sneak a knife into my side table at one point, and that was a tense trip to A&E. I nodded to him, still shaking. 

“Jesus Christ,” he whispered as he hugged me. I went through all of my muscle groups, forcing them to relax. If I didn’t get through the exercise fast enough, I would have major cramps to deal with the next morning. 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to him. I felt him sigh and say, 

“Maeve. You have nothing to be sorry about. I just wish that you could shake these dreams.” 

“I don’t know that I ever will,” I scratched out. I shook my head, holding my throat. The dreams always came with screaming. My therapist assures me that it’s normal, but I don’t always believe her. As my sleep schedule begins to normalize, the nightmares get worse. They say that PTSD isn’t permanent, but I can’t see my life returning to “normal” anytime soon. At least not while he’s still out there. 

“Let me get you some tea for your throat,” Reid says as he releases me. As he leaves, I roll off the bed, trying to get my legs to cooperate enough to stand. I straighten up and begin to shuffle to the bathroom. A hot shower is always helpful after these nights. 

Turning on the hot water, I strip down and step into the shower. I let the water run down over my back, keeping my arms tight around me. I feel my teeth begin to chatter. Good. That means I’m starting to come down. The exhaustion will come in waves, but neither of us will sleep tonight. Not likely. 

When my ten minutes are up, I shut off the water and grab a towel. Wrapping it around myself, I step out onto the mat and look at my reflection in the mirror. “My name is Maeve McApline. I was born and raised in St. Ives by my aunt, god-rest-her,” I repeat to myself. My reflection doesn’t look like it believes me. I repeat it again, and once more for good measure. A soft knock on the door interrupts me. 

“I’ll be out in a minute,” I say quickly. I heard Reid’s footsteps walk away from the door and begin to frantically towel myself off. I don’t look into the mirror again. I pull my robe down off of the door and wrap myself up. Throwing my hair up in the towel, I open the door and walk out into the living room. Reid’s sitting on the sofa flipping through the Netflix homepage. He stops on a cartoon and looks back for my approval. I nod and sit down next to him. He pulls me over to lean against him and puts a pillow between us so I’ll be more comfortable. Routine is good. Routine helps me to regain my sanity after these kinds of nights. I settle in against him and watch the colors dance across the television, not really seeing any of them. 

I awake with a start. I must have dozed off at some point during the third movie we watched. Reid is fast asleep under me, his arm wrapped around my middle, securing me to the couch. I still can’t believe how lucky I got three years ago. I never expected to get my best friend out of a random roommate request. And being able to find work with not only him, but Aimee’s café downstairs? Maybe this was some way of destiny trying to make up for the shit that I went through when I was younger. 

Extracting myself from Reid’s arms, I go back into my room to find my phone. 5:14 A.M. Too early to function, but I could feel that I wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon. Walking into my bedroom, I opened my sock drawer and pulled a lighter and a cigarette out of their hiding place. Reid always got upset when I smoked, but I had gotten closer to quitting entirely this year. Only after a particularly bad night would my fingers start to twitch with the desire for nicotine. I climbed through our window and onto the fire escape. The city was beginning to wake up, and I could faintly smell bread baking in the shop across from Aimee’s. 

Lighting up, I took a draw from my cigarette and leaned my head back against the wall. Staring up at the sky, I let my mind wander to when I would do this in New York. The city that never sleeps. I coughed out a laugh. The city that never let me sleep, more like. Simon’s face was burned into my mind, and I couldn’t seem to shake it today. 

This was the third nightmare this month, and although they were becoming less frequent, they were still of the same scene. Sometimes I would be haunted by the smell of the boat I was held in but, more often than not, it was the night I was taken. Taking another drag, I coughed once and tried to picture the face of the second man. The older one. 

Years of therapy hadn’t been able to bring his face to the forefront of my mind. If I could just remember some features, I could tip off the police and I wouldn’t have to live in constant fear of being found out. Although, that being said, I probably wouldn’t return to New York. I was happy with my life here in London. I had no family left to speak of, and Reid had become more than a friend these last few years. As if he heard my thoughts, I heard from behind me, 

“I thought you were quitting.” I shook my head and scooted over so he could join me. 

“I mostly quit.” 

He snorted. “Doesn’t look like it.” I shrugged. 

“Only after a bad night.” I could feel his shoulders tense. “Relax, Reid. I’m fine.” 

“You’re not,” he said. “But I guess I can’t really help you with that.” He was quiet for a moment. “Still no face?” 

“Nope,” I responded, popping the ‘p’. I took another drag and leaned my head back again. 

“Shit.” Reid leaned his head back next to mine. “I wish we could figure out what triggers your dreams.” 

“I don’t think they have a trigger,” I said, honestly. “They’re not even really dreams. They’re memories.” I could feel Reid tensing up in anger. “Reid. There’s nothing that you can do. It’s already happened. I’m working on getting better. Eventually, something has got to give. I haven’t given up hope that I’ll remember what he looks like.” I had, but he didn’t need to know that. “We’ll find him.” 

“Do you even remember how to live a normal life?” he asked quietly. I laughed. 

“Can’t say I ever lived a normal life.” Reid chuckled. 

“That’s probably fair. Your family is fucked up, you know that?” 

“I’m well aware,” I said dryly. “No family reunions in the future.” Reid laughed. We were silent for the rest of my cigarette. I stubbed it out in the ashtray I had hidden out here. Reid looked at me and shook his head. 

“Filthy habit.” We took turns climbing back through the window and into the living room. The sky had finally begun to lighten, and I decided to go downstairs and see if I could help Marc in the café. He usually finished the different kinds of dough at 6:00 AM and began baking them in the oven. I had the early shift today anyway. 

Throwing on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, I headed downstairs as I twisted my hair into a bun. Pushing through the door into the kitchen, I saw Marc icing a tray of cupcakes. “Need any help?” I offered quietly. Marc looked up in surprise and nodded. 

“If you’re offering. I need to get the Pain au chocolat in the oven.” I nodded and grabbed the bag of icing from him. We worked silently for a while. I appreciated Marc. He never questioned the mornings that I joined him. Rather, he would occasionally correct my technique, or explain parts of recipes. If I had the time, I would love to attend some sort of pastry school. I doubted that would ever happen, though. 

“Those need a raspberry on top,” he said from across the room. I nodded and began to place them on top of the little pile of icing I had made. “And the chocolate ones need a little cocoa dusted on top, as well. Sorry, should have mentioned that.” 

“It’s all good,” I responded, still concentrating on the raspberry placement. 

About an hour later, I heard Aimee unlocking the doors to the café. Glancing up at the clock, I saw that it was getting close to opening. Marc shooed me out of the kitchen to start putting pastries into the display cases. Aimee walked around the counter and kissed my cheek. 

“Morning, doll,” she said. “You alright?” 

“Fine,” I responded with a smile. She searched my face for a second – trying to determine the cause for the dark circles, I’m sure – before patting my shoulder. I felt a tiny pair of arms wrap around my hips. I reached down and picked up Sara, juggling her so that she could rest her head against my shoulder. “Someone’s knackered,” I commented. 

Aimee laughed. “I can imagine. She stayed up well past her bedtime last night.” Sara burrowed her head deeper into my shoulder. I began to bounce her a little while walking around to the front. “I can cover the front for a bit until Kels gets here if you’d like to cuddle her for a bit.” 

I smiled and said, “That would be fun, right bug?” Sara nodded enthusiastically, before returning her head to my shoulder. She really must be tired. Settling down into the rocking chair in the corner of the shop, I began to hum as I rocked her. 

We stayed in the chair for almost two hours, giving me a chance to zone out and try and get into a better headspace. One of the nice things about working in a café is that you constantly meet new people. Yes, there are a few regulars. But I don’t have to always worry about keeping my story straight. As long as the basics are covered, I can sprinkle in a little truth every once in a while. What people didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt them. 

Kelsey came in just before 8:30. I passed a sleeping Sara off to her mother and put on my apron. Kelsey asked to just work the register today – she looked as if she had had a rough night – so I went over to the drink station and waited for my first order. Aimee opened the doors, and a few of our regulars immediately walked in. Most of our morning rush happens immediately, as people try to get caffeine and some food into their system before work. 

“I need three flat whites, two double espressos, and an iced Americano.” 

“Coming up,” I responded, and got to work making the drinks. 

When we finally got through our rush an hour and a half later, Kelsey sat down in the middle of the floor behind the register and put her head in her hands. “Rough night?” I asked. She laughed and said, 

“I’m so hungover it’s not even funny. Remind me to never drink Kinky Blue again.” I laughed and said, 

“Do you want an espresso?” She nodded and put her head back into her hands. It was at that moment that Aimee walked out from the back, saw Kelsey on the floor, and started laughing. 

“Maybe plan your weekends a bit better,” she said. Kelsey shook her head and said, 

“I’m never drinking again.” 

“Mmhmm,” Aimee responded. “I’ve heard that one before. Drink some coffee and get off of my floor.” Kelsey groaned and accepted the hand I offered her. When she was on her feet, I handed her a paper cup of espresso and a rag. 

“I’ve got it back here, go clean those tables.” She nodded and raised her cup in thanks. As she walked away, another customer came up to my counter. 

“What can I get for you?” I asked before looking up. It was the blonde guy from yesterday. Interesting. 

“Can I get a cold-drip Americano and a chai tea latte?” He paused. “And another scone. Can I try the blueberry?” 

“Absolutely,” I said, ringing him up. “Heated?” 

“Please.” 

“Coming right up.” I ran his card before handing it back to him. 

“Niall,” I heard someone say from the door. Looking up, I froze for a second. It was the guy that I had seen the last few days outside. I realized that he must have given – Niall, apparently – the recommendation on the café. “Can you get me a quiche, please?” I fumbled the steamed milk I was holding and felt some splash onto my finger. 

“Ouch, shit,” I mumbled, walking over to the sink and running my finger under cold water. 

“Well, you’re in here now,” Niall said. “You can get your own quiche.” Niall laughed at what I could only imagine was the face his friend made. I heard footsteps lead up to the counter and finished making their drinks as quickly as possible. Returning to the register, I began to type in the order. 

“You said a quiche, correct?” 

“Yes, please,” the friend responded. “The…” he trailed off looking into the case. “Spinach and fetta?” 

“Heated, I assume?” 

“You would assume correctly,” I could hear the smile in his voice. Glancing up, I looked into some spectacular green eyes, before looking down again to swipe his card. 

“Coming up,” I said quietly. 

“Thank you,” he responded. I got to work heating his quiche and placed the plate on the counter when it was done. Turning around, I began to wipe down the counters and place the used dishes into the sink. “Sorry,” I heard from behind me. “Could I get a fork?” I turned around and saw him standing at the counter, holding the plate. I felt my cheeks redden slightly and said, 

“Of course, sorry. Here you go,” I handed him a fork and watched as he nodded and smiled at me. I returned his smile – maybe slightly less enthusiastically – and caught the look on Niall’s face as I turned around. Great, I thought, I last thing I need is some random guy hitting on me while I’m at work. As they opened the door to return to the friend’s normal seat, thunder boomed from overhead. I saw their shoulders fall almost in unison before they turned around and grabbed a table next to the window. 

It was naturally at this point that Kelsey returned to the counter and gave me a pointed look. “I’m not gonna ask him out,” I muttered to her. “Stop looking at me like that.” Kelsey laughed. 

“All I can say is that if I were single, I’d be trying to get into his life. Did you see his eyes?” 

“Yes. I did,” I responded shortly. She rolled her eyes and threw the rags into the ‘used’ bucket. 

“You’re no fun,” she pouted. Then I thought about what she had said. 

“Wait. Since when are you not single?” 

“Since last night,” she said, blushing. “My friend Jake finally asked me out on a real date.” 

“And that’s why you were so hungover this morning?” 

“Well, no.” She paused. “I was so hungover because I accidentally spilled a glass of red wine on him at dinner and felt so bad last night that I got drunk by myself on Kinky Blue.” 

“Oh Jesus,” I responded. “Was he mad?” 

“No,” she exclaimed. “That was the worst part! He was so chill about the whole thing that it made me think that he doesn’t actually care.” 

“Kels,” I said, grabbing her shoulders. “He asked you on a date. You’ve known him for like 12 years. I don’t think that one little accident is going to make him hate you. And obviously he cares about you – you guys have been friends forever.” 

“I guess,” she said, her shoulders deflating. “I just want it to work out so badly.” I nodded. 

“I get it. It will. Just give it some time.” Kelsey smiled at me. 

“Thanks, Maeve. You always know what to say.” I laughed. 

“Not always, but thank you.” We were quiet for a minute. 

Unfortunately, us being quiet meant that I could now hear the conversation going on between the two guys. They were the only people in the café at the moment, and it was hard to not hear them, okay? 

“Harry, you’ve got to stand up for what you want on this album. We dealt with enough bullshit for all of those years. This is your album. Make it what you want it to be.” 

“I know, I know,” Harry – apparently – responded. “It’s just so hard to do this all alone. At least when we were a band it was all of us bouncing ideas off of each other.” 

“Yeah,” Niall said, “but you can make it more personal this way. That’s what I’m doing.” 

“How is your album coming?” Harry asked him. Niall smiled. 

“I’m trying to cut down my songs right now. I’ve got like 30 recorded that I want to use.” 

“That would be a long album,” Harry laughed. Niall cackled – his laughter breaking through the calm of the café. He quieted down quickly before shooting a look in our direction. Kelsey and I immediately tried to look as busy as possible. 

“I’m aware of that, thank you,” he responded. 

“Mae,” a voice said from beside me. Marc was standing there holding a box of pastries. “Can you deliver these to Angelo down the street? I told him that I’d trade him some pastries for a reservation tonight for our anniversary.” 

“I didn’t know today was your anniversary,” I said, grabbing the box. “Happy Anniversary! And yeah, I’ll take them down now.” 

“Thank you, and thank you.” Marc returned to the kitchen and I smiled at Kelsey. 

“He’s cute,” she said quietly. “I’ll cover the register. Go ahead.” Pulling the apron off over my head, I walked to the door and felt a pair of eyes on me again. Turning around, I looked to where Harry and Niall were sitting, but Harry was pointedly looking down at the table. I smiled a little to myself and opened the door before walking out onto the sidewalk.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maeve McApline has spent years running from her former identity. She has surrounded herself with people that know nothing of her past - save for her flatmate, who has dealt with the night terrors she's had for years - and that's the way she likes it. She spends her days waitressing in the cafe beneath their flat, and her weekends photographing weddings with her best friend and flatmate. So far, nothing has happened to break up the quiet life she has made for herself. What happens when she catches the eye of a certain pop star that frequents their cafe and threatens to shatter the world of anonymity she has created?

“Hey Maeve,” Aimee said as I finished wiping down the counter at the end of the day. I looked up to her looking rather nervous. I cocked my head and gestured for her to continue. “Our babysitter just canceled on us and we called in a favor for these reservations. I know you just worked a long day…” 

“I would love to watch Sara for you. Shoot me a text when you want to drop her off.” I was immediately wrapped up in a huge hug. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! I owe you!” I laughed and shook my head. 

“No worries. She’s a doll.” I paused. “Just bring some of her toys over, and I’ll be sure to put the dangerous things out of her reach.” Aimee laughed. 

“I’ll hold you to that.” I smiled at her and took off my apron. 

“I’ll see you in a bit, then,” I said as I started to walk towards the stairs. Aimee waved before grabbing her bags and coat. 

“I’ll let you know what time we’re bringing her over. I’m not sure yet how long it’ll take us to get her ready.” I waved her off and said over my shoulder, 

“Again, no worries. I’ll be home all night.” When I finally heard the door shut behind her, I took the stairs two at a time and unlocked the door. “Hey Reid,” I called out into the apartment. I heard a thud and a muffled groan. “Sorry! But I’m watching Sara tonight, just so you know.” Reid’s head poked out from around his bedroom door. 

“Sounds good. What do you want for supper?” 

Kicking off my shoes, I collapsed onto the sofa and said, “I don’t have a preference. I’m not sure if we’ll be feeding her or not.” 

“Something kid-friendly,” he replied, “Got it.” 

“I appreciate you,” I said, “Genuinely.” He waved me away. 

“I know, you don’t have to go on about it.” I laughed and pulled out my phone. Scrolling through Twitter, I noticed that our café’s page was blowing up. Clicking on the profile, I saw that someone verified had tweeted a photo of a scone and a coffee. Looking closer, I realized that it was the blonde guy – Niall – in the profile picture. 

“Oh shit,” I muttered to myself. I could feel my muscles begin to tense – my flight or fight beginning to kick in. “Everything is fine. You’re not in the picture. There’s no way they could trace this back to you.” I decided to double-check that I hadn’t connected my page to the café aside from just following their page. No. Everything should be fine. 

Reid walked out from the bedroom at that moment and started toward the kitchen. He glanced over at me and stopped, furrowing his brow. “What’s wrong?” 

“Apparently the blonde guy that keeps coming into the shop is famous.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“He tweeted about the shop.” I could see the moment Reid realized what that meant. 

“Are you in any way connected to the shop online?” he asked. I shook my head. 

“I only follow them. I told Aimee before that I was uncomfortable with my info being online and she said she wouldn’t post anything without asking me first. There shouldn’t be a connection.” He nodded silently, looking thoughtful. I immediately shook my head, knowing where his mind was. “I’m not telling her.” 

“Mae.” 

“No,” I interrupted. “Not until it becomes an emergency. I’ve disappeared before, I can do it again.” 

“Not without leaving a string of broken hearts behind you,” he argued. “You’ve got people that love you here, man.” 

“And I didn’t before?” I shouted back. “I left everything! I left my life. I left friends and family and my fucking identity!” 

“What makes you think they won’t come after us if you leave?” Reid shouted back. I felt a shiver run down my spine. I forced my facial expression to stay the same as I listened to him name every fear that I think of on a daily basis. “They’ve killed people before, Maeve, what makes you so certain that if you leave town and never look back that they won’t kill every person that’s made contact with you here to try and find out where you are? Your brother is somewhere in fucking Switzerland living out his days like a king and you can’t even be sure that you’d recognize the other guy that kidnapped you! You’ve never been able to recall his face. How do you know that you haven’t seen him every day at the café?” Reid fell silent. He ran his hand over his face slowly and said, “I’m sorry. That was out of line. I just can’t be sure that anyone will be safe if they find out you’ve been here. I get that the fewer people that know, the better, but you can’t make me the only person here that knows.” 

“You think I haven’t thought of that?” I laugh bitterly. “I’ve gone through every fucking scenario in my head every day since I escaped. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I dragged you into this, but I couldn’t keep lying to you.” I got up and began to pace in front of the sofa. “Reid, I don’t know what to do. I can’t trust the authorities here, and that’s what Aimee’s first reaction would be. You know that.” Reid sighed and leaned back against the wall. “The only thing that I can do is lay as low as possible and hope that they never catch a trace of me. You and Nathaniel are the only ones that know the whole story. And he’s obligated to keep my secret because of whatever laws you guys have that are the HIPAA equivalent.” 

“Well, for his sake, I hope they never find your therapist. God only knows what you’ve told him, because I know you won’t tell me the whole story.” That made me smile a little. 

“I don’t think you want the whole story, man. It’s the stuff of nightmares.” 

Reid shot me a deadpan look. “Not funny.” 

“It’s a little funny.” Reid shook his head. 

“You’re a little fucked up, you know that?” I nodded. 

“Fully aware, yes.” I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Pulling it out, I saw that Aimee texted. “Sara will be dropped off at half past five,” I told him. 

“Sounds good,” he said, his head leaning back against the wall. “I wish there was an easy answer to all of this.” 

“Me too,” I said. “I’m sorry for dragging you into this.” 

Reid shook his head. “Don’t. I’m just glad you’re not trying to deal with this all alone. I’m sorry I got angry.” 

“Me too.” We were quiet for a moment. “Man, if we were married, we’d be able to get through any argument pretty easily. We know how to properly apologize for things.” 

Reid laughed. “Please don’t get my mother’s hopes up.” He paused. “I don’t know what I’ll tell her if I do end up dating a guy. She’s been bugging me for grandkids for years already.” 

“What ever happened to that guy?” I asked. “You never did tell me who he is.” Reid shook his head and stood up. 

“Not a chance, bub.” I laughed. 

“You don’t have a chance, or you just won’t tell me?” I shot back. 

He paused before saying, “Yes,” and continued walking toward the kitchen. “We’ve got spaghetti and chicken; do you think that will suffice?” 

“Should be fine,” I responded. “She’s not that picky from what I remember.” I began to walk around the living room and the bathroom, making sure that nothing dangerous would be within reach. I was kidding with Aimee earlier, but I didn’t want something to happen to Sara. She was the sweetest little girl in the world and even made me question whether or not I wanted kids. I knew it wouldn’t be possible in my current situation, but if things ever worked out and I was able to live my life again? Maybe. I still couldn’t be sure. God knows I didn’t have a great family example laid out for me. Glancing at my phone, I saw that Aimee texted me again. They were leaving their house. That gave me about ten minutes to finish up. 

I walked into the kitchen to see Reid seasoning the chicken and boiling water. It looked like he had things under control, so I sat down on the sofa for a few minutes to collect myself. I was glad that even though we fought sometimes, we could let it roll off almost immediately. If I had learned anything in my therapy sessions, it’s that holding grudges can be detrimental. 

A knock on the door signaled that Aimee and Sara had arrived. I walked over to open the door and saw a very excited Sara and a tired-looking Aimee. I gave Aimee a hug and said, “You look gorgeous. Have a good night. I’ll call you if anything major happens.” 

“Thank you again,” she said. “I don’t know what we would have done if you guys weren’t willing to do this.” 

“Not a problem,” Reid called from the other room. “Hey Sara, do you like chicken?” Sara squealed and ran in the direction of his voice. I laughed and took the bag from Aimee that had Sara’s toys and pajamas. 

“If you want us to take her all night, just let me know,” I said quietly. “You guys deserve a night to yourselves.” Aimee laughed. 

“Don’t tempt me,” she said. 

“I mean it,” I insisted. “You guys work so hard during the day and with Sara. You should have a night off.” Aimee pulled me into a hug and said, 

“I don’t know how we got so lucky to have you guys as tenants.” I laughed. 

“Go!” as I waved her out the door. 

“Bye Sara! Mummy loves you!” she shouted. I heard laughter from the kitchen, and Sara zoomed down the hall to hug her once more. “Have a good night and behave, please.” 

“Bye Mummy!” Sara said before running down the hallway once more. 

“Go find your husband,” I said, again, and shooed her away. She blew me a kiss as I closed the door. Picking up the bag, I set it on the couch before walking into the kitchen. I found Reid holding Sara above the stove so she could help him stir the sauce. I leaned against the kitchen door and watched them for a minute. Reid looked back at me and smiled. It was funny to see how much Sara has grown in the last few months. Her vocabulary has expanded, and she’s become incredibly curious as to what goes on around her. It didn’t surprise me that she enjoyed helping in the kitchen with both of her parents being avid cooks and bakers. I turned away from the kitchen and walked back into the living room to find a movie for us to watch when supper was over. 

A few hours later saw a sleeping Sara cuddled up against Reid on the sofa. After finishing supper, Sara asked me to paint her fingernails, which went rather well. It seemed that when she put her mind to it, she could sit still for a long time – at least for a young girl. After which, we played ‘princesses’ with Reid begging off so he could go finish some editing for a shoot he did the night previously. When he returned, I had Sara change into her pajamas and we watched her favorite movie of the moment, “The Princess and the Frog.” Sara made it through the first hour before cuddling up with Reid and falling fast asleep. I extracted myself from underneath her feet and went to set up my bed so she could sleep in it tonight. 

When I was done, I walked quietly back into the living room and motioned to Reid with my head that it was done. He carefully picked Sara up and walked into the room with me. He laid her on the bed before moving out of the way so I could tuck her in. When I laid a kiss to her forehead, I felt her hand grab my shoulder and heard a little, muffled, “story.” I laughed quietly and picked up the book off of my nightstand. Sitting on the bed next to her, I began to read: 

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.” 

I made it about three pages in before she had passed out completely again. I grabbed a pillow from the other side of the bed, and a spare blanket from the cupboard. Walking back into the living room, I saw Reid standing there scrolling through his phone. He looked up as I approached and shut the door quietly behind me. 

“She out?” he asked. I nodded and moved back toward the sofa. Reid chuckled and said, “she is a persistent one, that one.” 

“That, she is.” 

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight, so you don’t throw out your back?” he asked quietly. I looked over and him and smiled. 

“I appreciate the offer, but I think we’d be on top of each other if I did that.” He shrugged and smiled. 

“It wouldn’t be the first time.” I laughed, too loudly for a child sleeping in the next room. Immediately, I went silent, listening. When I didn’t hear anything, I said, 

“I thought we were never going to speak of that again.” Reid shrugged, before smiling widely and turning around. 

“I don’t recall making that agreement.” 

“Well, you were rather drunk at the time.” 

“So were you.” 

“Fair.” I threw the pillow and blanket onto the sofa and pulled out my book. Settling in, I began to read where I had left off with Sara. The Hobbit was one of my favorites, and I had made a promise to myself to read more this year. I had gotten away from it when I was traveling so often, simply because books weighed me down. It was weird to think that I had settled down enough to begin buying books again. I shook off the thoughts that threatened to surface of our earlier argument. I didn’t want to think of that anymore. There was no way they would find me in a completely different country, with a totally new identity. Besides, Wade had been confident that no one would notice the small blip in my paper trail as Maeve McApline. No one has any reason to look into it, or me, too closely. 

“They’re both asleep,” I woke to Reid’s low voice. There was a pause before he said, “no, it’s not a problem. She can spend the night here and we’ll just bring her down in the morning. You can bring a change of clothes to the shop.” Pause. He was on the phone, then. Probably Aimee or Marc checking in. “We had a bit of a row earlier, it was nothing serious.” Pause. “No, she’s fine.” Pause. “She hasn’t really been sleeping well.” Pause. “Yeah, she’s been to a doctor.” A good lie – not entirely untrue. My therapist had a doctorate, but he didn’t prescribe me any sleeping medication anymore. The unfortunate side-effect of medication that makes you sleep is that you can’t wake up from your nightmares. Not really ideal in my situation. “Yeah, I’ll take care of her. She’ll be okay.” I felt my heart tug a little. Reid sometimes seemed too good to be true. “I’ll see you in the morning.” I closed my eyes and evened my breathing to feign sleeping. I heard Reid walk past the sofa and felt him tweak my foot. 

“I know you’re not sleeping,” he said. I opened one eye very slowly. Reid -for some reason – found that absolutely hysterical and had to catch himself from a very loud guffaw. He did bend over in silent laughter that made me roll my eyes. 

“Everything alright?” I asked, even though I knew the answer. Reid flopped into the armchair next to the sofa and nodded. 

“They were just checking in to see if she could spend the night. Not sure how much of that conversation you heard.” I nodded to acknowledge as much. 

“That’s not really what I meant,” I responded quietly, after a moment. Reid nodded again. 

“I know.” He was quiet for a moment. “I will be. I just worry, you know?” I nodded. I did. We were quiet for a long time. Reid staring intently at the coffee table. “How long do you think you’ll have to lie?” I shrugged. 

“Until the guy is caught, I guess. Or dead. Not that I’d know, because I have no idea who he is. So, I guess forever.” Reid shook his head slowly. 

“It just doesn’t seem fair.” I snorted quietly and rolled over onto my side to look at him. He looked over and smiled a little. “Understatement, I know,” he finished. Behind us, I heard the door creak. Heart racing, I turned around to see Sara standing there rubbing her eyes with tears streaming down her face. 

I jumped up and walked over to her, kneeling down. I held my arms out for a hug and she stepped into them immediately. I kissed her head and whispered, “Bad dream?” She nodded and sniffled into my shoulder. I stood up with her and picked her up before settling us both onto the sofa. “You’re safe, honey,” I whispered to her. “Do you want some cocoa?” She thought a moment before nodding. I looked at Reid, but he was already standing up. 

“Stay,” he said quietly. I nodded and began to rock Sara on my lap. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked her. She shook her head. “Okay,” I said. “We can just sit here.” I began to hum a song that came into my head. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I had some memory of comfort associated with it. I vaguely registered the stove clicking on in the kitchen and realized Reid must be making cocoa from scratch. He definitely didn’t do things halfway when it came to making people feel better. It made me smile, even in the situation. He would make a great dad if he decided to have kids one day. 

A few minutes later, he walked out with two mugs of steaming cocoa. He put them on the coffee table quietly before walking back into the kitchen for a third. “I put in a few ice cubes. It should be good for her.” Shifting her around, I grabbed the mug and held it out to her. 

“Two hands,” I reminded her and she grabbed for it. She nodded and took a tentative sip. Her face lit up and she took a bigger sip almost immediately. “Slowly,” I laughed. “It’s not a race.” Sara giggled, already looking better. I looked over at Reid and mouthed, “Thank you.” He nodded and raised his mug in a ‘cheers.’ I smiled and kissed Sara’s head again. She would be fine as soon as we got her back to sleep. 

When she had finished her drink, I picked her up and returned her to the bed. I could tell that she was fighting to keep her eyes open, so I whispered, “goodnight.” Two little arms reached up around my neck and hugged me tightly. 

“Night night,” she mumbled. I tucked her in tightly and made sure her favorite stuffed goose was under the covers. She held him tightly and was asleep before I turned around. 

Quietly backing out of my room and closing the door, I turned around and said to Reid, “You’ll spoil her to death.” Reid chuckled and said, 

“No one deserves packaged cocoa after a nightmare. Least of all the best little girl on the planet.” I laughed before returning to my place on the sofa. 

“Truer words have never been spoken.” Reid stood up, grabbed our empty mugs and walked them back into the kitchen. He walked back into the living room and headed for his bedroom. 

“Get some sleep,” he said. “You need it.” 

“Goodnight,” I said quietly. He nodded in response and waved while opening his door. I laid back down on the sofa and pulled the blanket over me. I scrolled on my phone for about half an hour before I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer and settled in for the night.


End file.
